Being a widow is something that can change your life when you are a parent as well. Some widows have the inner strength to remarry in their lifetimes, and others choose to stay on their own and parent singly. This can be done, and you can raise an incredible child as widow single parent.
Tips to start off on the right foot as a widow parent are to firstly, always start off being a parent that you always were. Do not try to become someone that you are not as your children will not take to this very kindly. Instead, parent as you once did and be compassionate when you need to be. For example, when your child does something they need punished for, speak to them about it and go from there. Do not allow your child to turn into a "bad apple" as a result of losing one of the parents. While they have every reason in the world to be grieving and upset, they do not have a license to act up. Some kids will use this time to their own advantage and become a tougher, more disobedient kid.
If you permit them to be defiant, they will. An option is to be clear and firm that you want your lives to remain as they were when discipline was concerned. That they need to be responsive of you just as they were before your spouse was gone. It will be something they try their luck at, and you need to be strong. Realize that you are in control, and that there may be days when you and your children will need to rely on each other. Leaning on one another for support during the first few years will be something you both look back on fondly.
Try to take the negatives out of this experience being a widow has brought and turn them into positives. Spend more time with your kids, they need you now and they need to know you can handle their lives on your own now more than ever. Do fun things together, do things you did once when your spouse was around as well it can be very healing for your children. Start new traditions, ones that your kids will adore and that can form new memories and take their minds off of the past events. Ask them what types of activities they would like to do together as a family now. They may have some excellent choices in their heads, and always take pictures! Make new photo books and memories to hang on the walls in your home to remind them that things re going to be just fine.
My heart goes out to any woman or man that has to go through something like this.
ReplyDeleteI am a widow and thankfully my son was very young at the time of his father's death. I do my best to spend a majority of my time with him (when I am not working of course) and when he is not in school my employer allows him to come with me. The older he gets though, I do see how a solid male figure would do him much good.
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