Do you sometimes feel ashamed of your own thoughts about your children? Are you haunted by a mistake you once made regarding your child’s safety? Can you think of anything else you’d rather be doing then running your kids to soccer practice and back four nights a week? It’s important to know that feeling like this is not only okay, it is also healthy. No woman is able to be superwoman, not even your perfectly poised next-door-neighbor who bakes the perfect cookies in her perfect house that is guarded by her perfect white fence with her perfectly behaved little children saying please and thank you inside. When it comes to parenting, everybody cracks.
The first thing to recognize when feeling overwhelmed is that you are only human and you are only one human at that. If you feel that the work load of your family life is becoming too much to bare and you’re losing yourself in the process, it is important to recognize this and ask for help. For some reason, parents, especially mothers, think that they will be judged if they ask for help. They will say that they feel like they are failing their children if they cannot care them by themselves or with just the help from their husband. But its 2012 and many woman are working full-time jobs just like their husbands, while being expected to run the house hold as well. This task can most certainly be overwhelming.
Single mothers also have quite the task to conquer. Not only are they working to support themselves and their children, they have nobody at home to watch the kids for an hour while they draw a bubble bath to relax after their hard day. But single mothers, just like other overwhelmed mothers who are married or are in relationships, are bashful to ask for help.
Asking for help is actually the most respectable thing a mother can do if they feel as though the water is consistently flooding over their head. There is absolutely no shame in asking someone to watch your kids for a few hours while you sit back with an US Weekly in your bathtub and then curling up to some reruns of “Friends.” Although you may feel guilty wanting this time to yourself, most of the time it will be more beneficial to your children if you get it. Then, when you get back to your role as a parent, you will be refreshed and revived ready to bring on what the day has for you. That grape juice stain on that brand new white tee? No sweat! Your 3 year old swallowed that shiny penny he saw emulating Abraham Lincoln’s image? No problem! You can handle it!
Whether it be your friends, your family, or a hired professional, taking help where its available will be very beneficial to your psyche. It has nothing to do with loving your children any less, but it has everything to do with giving your child the best version of you that you can.
Yes! Take time to yourself by all means especially you younger mothers. Its the only way to will make it with all your sanity or most of to all their graduation days. :)
ReplyDeleteAs a single parent, I would say it is a bit more difficult to find the time for myself. Although I do try to nap when he does, I feel like that's doing something for myself, at least getting a little more rest.
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